My 15 Steps to becoming a great leader

First of all I am far from being a great leader, but I strive to be one someday.

This is my great leader Mantra.

It will be used to constantly reflect back on. It could potentially be beneficial to others who strive to be good leaders as well. This is targeted to the technical industry so not all of it may apply for everyone.

These 15 items that I want to master are compiled from my personal experience, advice from personal mentors and leaders that I respect, as well as knowledge gained from the internet, videos, and books. I do not take credit for coming up with these ideas.

Chade Meng Tan, author of “Search Inside Yourself” and the cofounder of SIYLI, promotes emotional intelligence, empathy and compassion to the workplace and highly emphasizes some of these key factors.

This is what currently motivates me:

Becoming a good leader that shows empathy and compassion using the Servant leadership philosophy. Being able to not just lead and deliver but also able to grow people who inspire to make a difference. I want to provide individuals a path to their own aspirations. Being someone that will listen, trust, acknowledge, appreciate, and grow along with them.

What makes this goal so attainable, is that the same motivation of being a good leader also applies to being a good father.

So as a father of 2, I plan to achieve this goal by using the great leader mantra below:

1. Focus on leading and not managing — If you want to be a good leader, remember what your goals are. You set the mission and goal that the team needs to accomplish. The main difference between leaders and managers is that leaders have people that follow them while managers have people who work for them. Good leaders don’t have to be managers and managers are not always good leaders.
2. Mentors are important. Your mentor isn’t always going to be your manager and your manager isn’t always going to be the best mentor for you. You have to seek your own mentors. The best thing you can do is reflect back on your personal experience of being managed and all the traits you appreciated as well as the characteristics you didn’t appreciate.
3. Conflict resolution. Conflicts WILL arise and when it does, it is important to address early on. It can escalate easily and once things get out of control, it will be hard to recover. Seek help early on if you feel it is necessary. Put basic rules in place so you can work together with others and the same applies for your direct reports. They don’t have to be friends or like each other, they just have to be able to do their job. Make sure you are listening to them and not take sides. Do what you can and think long term. You can try to move one person to another group or project if it is possible. It is hard to force two people to work together. When you add more individuals to the team, that can help alter the dynamics of a team which could be beneficial as well. At the end of the day, it is ok to coach someone out if it is better for the team and company. That should never be the first solution because it is just avoiding the underlying problem and not solving it. Conflicts will arise everywhere and all individuals should learn to work with others.
4. Market the hell out of your team’s work! Visibility is not just important to the rest of the company, it is also very important internally in your organization and team. You can’t just focus on the deliverable. If your team feels like they are delivering something important, it can help boost their motivation and confidence by having more exposure. As important as it is to promote the accomplishments and achievements, it’s also important to hold them accountable as a way to encourage growth and improving for the better.
5. Be Positive. To empower and motivate others, it can be as simple as just being a genuinely positive person. Develop a positive mental attitude and be the kind of leader who always has something good to say. This is how you can make people feel comfortable around you and build trust so that they are comfortable telling you anything that needs to be said. Emotions are contagious. How one person acts in a meeting or room can set the tone for everyone else.
6. Don’t just complain. When reporting to leadership, always be prepared to address concerns and complaints with solutions and suggestions on how to improve. If you don’t have that, it will just sound like you are complaining. If you feel like you need to say something, think about it first. What are you trying to accomplish? Who is your target audience? What is the goal of your statement? Sometimes it really is better to just keep things to yourself than risk regretting it later. Establish your support group and people you can vent to. Don’t vent to your boss because it will just show weakness to overcome obstacles. Don’t vent to your direct reports because it will show weakness in your ability to lead.
7. Projects always need PLANNING!!!!! Planning, design, and implementation are crucial. Never go into a project without properly planning, designing and architecting. Having documentation/diagrams is also key for presentation purposes. Always highlight the complexity of the project because most projects will run late and may not always deliver on time with the same scope that was originally committed. Very often, priorities can change, last minute items to address, resource adjustments, vacations/PTOs, etc and descoping is common. Having a project, program, or product manager can be useful but that is not always the case and managers often do a lot of the project management. Following the best practices of using the SDLC (Software Development Life Cycle) would be ideal but is often not followed. If a proper project management life cycle is followed, that would take care of this item along with the next 3 as well. There are often times when you are not part of a project or program from the initial start and those are the times where you have to adapt to what you are given. Proper Agile/Scrum/Sprint Planning is important. Working in sprints with standups/scrums, sprint planning, retros, and backlog grooming is great but only if you do it right. Making sure your team knows the best practices and setting an example and guidance early on is key or else it will be easy to drift. Demos show success and increase motivation and inspiration. Retros give a reason to reflect and improve upon. Standups make sure everyone is aware of what everyone else on the team is doing. Sprint planning gets the whole team involved and promotes comradery as the whole team plans what they want to achieve every sprint. There are often trade offs but make sure everyone is well aware of the Agile Manifesto.
8. Acceptance Criteria, Contract and proper signoff. Before starting a project, no implementation should be done without a proper signoff on acceptance criteria from your customer or leadership. Committing to a scope/time/resource also known as the Project Management Triangle, is crucial. The triple constraint theory states that changes in one factor will invariably affect the other two. It is your job to make sure that the trade-offs are visible and to manage expectations. Make sure there are proper presentations of the design/architecture as well as a demo of POC/MVP. Working on the technical design diagram/documentations (TDD) can be too late if you create it during implementation. Making sure you have as much of this identified before implementation can be very important or else your scope and timeframe will easily change. Communication is key especially between teams to have a common understanding to avoid conflict and any concerns over ownership and delivery. If two teams make a deal, make sure it is written and confirmed to prove that it was agreed upon and the details are there for reference. Moving forward, both sides are held accountable and it also shows being proactive vs waiting around for decisions to be made. A lack of clarity on ownership often arises in a project as new scope and issues get identified.
9. Identify Risks ASAP. Address and highlight risks and potential blockers that you can foresee as soon as you can. Ie. lack of resources, expertise, technical knowledge, single source of failures. All communications should be positive and constructive. Even when things go wrong, don’t blame anyone. Stick with the facts as much as possible. Always speak early and identify risks and blockers before things get worse. Proactively look for things that can blow up and mitigate as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember to stay humble and avoid any egos. If you have management that truly supports you, it will be obvious in the support or lack of support that you receive. Be mindful of the triple constraint theory if any part of your project management triangle changes because one factor WILL affect the other two. Inexperience will lead to failure if you do not push back or make these concerns visible.
10. Transform talent into performance — developing others and influence by gaining respect. Being able to determine each individual’s strength and be able to empower them to showcase the strengths and be able to leverage the strengths for business outcomes. Use that individual’s strength to build their talent. As a team, we are trying to achieve a common goal so you are only as strong as your weakest link. By promoting collaboration, communication and a sense of comradery, we want the team to work as a team.
11. Connect with your team — the more you know your team members, the better your interactions will be. Investing time in your team usually pays off. Personalities and traits can make a huge difference. You always have to adjust accordingly. Some people are strong minded, some are ambitious, ego is inevitable, and the type of power and control individuals strive for will vary. Truly understanding everyone’s goals, intentions, and ambitions is important. Sometimes being good friends with your employees can potentially hurt you. If your direct report constantly receives extra knowledge that could benefit them, it can be seen as bias. Don’t vent to your direct reports. Vent to your peers. If you give the wrong impression to the team, they will only follow in your footsteps. Listen actively and effectively. Focus on what they say, absorb it and take it in without judging. As the manager, you set the example and the team follows your lead. “How can I help” is the key question that should constantly be asked to them. Feedback both ways can also be useful. Asking for feedback also builds and fosters a good relationship built on trust. If your team feels like they have a strong relationship with the leader, they will give you their all if they believe in you the same way that you show them that you believe in them.
12. Empathy — Listen, Acknowledge, and Appreciate. Provide recognition and positive reinforcement as much as possible. It is human nature to want to be heard and appreciated. Everyone has the right to their own opinions and points of view. When people disagree or don’t see things the same way, the natural reaction is to be defensive. Neural activity increases in the part of the brain called the Amygdala when you hear something you don’t agree with similar to the feeling of fear you get when being chased or attacked by a wild animal. Acknowledging people’s opinions and showing appreciation will gain trust. If you cannot trust the members of your team to do their job, it will be hard to grow the team and level up. Micromanaging is often a trait that results in lack of trust. Empathetic, trust-based human leadership is not only the most effective way to lead a team but also the most profitable way to run a company. Self-awareness is crucial in understanding what your role is.
13. Compassion — Treat everyone the way they want to be treated. You should want everyone to feel comfortable and respected. People want to get along and listen and be heard. Avoid arguments and disagreements but if they happen, the best conclusion is one where everyone walks away feeling good. Coming to an agreement or resolution is oftentimes hard but to be able to do so where no one feels bad afterwards is an amazing skill to achieve. According to Thupten Jinpa, a Tibetan Buddhist scholar, the three components of compassion are Affective (“I feel for you”), Cognitive (“I understand you”) and Motivational (“I want to help you”). By encouraging others through empowerment, it makes people want to work for you because of who you are as a person. This correlates to the idea that the author of Good to Great, James C Collin has on level 5 leaders. Those who show ambition for the greater good and being humble are the key qualities that distinguish the difference between a level 4 leader and a level 5 leader. Understand people and help them succeed. The practice of compassion is about going from self to others, from using “I” to “we.” The goal is to develop other leaders and not about your own ego. A good read on Compassion can be found here: https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/why-compassion-is-the-key-to-being-a-great-leader/
14. Gauge the temperature of your leadership and how decisions are made. Management is usually focused on delivering but while we want to focus on delivery, you need your management’s suggestions on how to get things done. If you are doing what your manager recommends or suggests, they are now partially responsible for whatever happens. Support is important and if you feel like you are not getting support, that is a sign that there might be trouble ahead. Identify your interest, the interest of your team, and the organization.
15. Failure is the best way to learn. Learn from your mistakes and reflect back on how you can improve and do better next time. Michael Jordan and the late Kobe Bryant, the two best basketball players of all time often reflect back on their failures. They don’t dwell on it, they embrace it and it’s their motivation to succeed and strive to be great that made them so successful. Failure is the key to success and never be afraid to fail.

One thing I believe to the fullest is that if you think and achieve as a team, the individual accolades will take care of themselves. Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships.” -Michael Jordan